i see you fly high with my heart by your side while only in my dreams you remain

Sleep Tight sweet sweet bunny...   I don't want you to regret anything at all... everyone makes mistakes. Be glad you made the choice to let your heart out to someone as special to you as me. and keep this experience close to mind and use it, learn from it, and take it as an accomplishment for something worthwhile in the future. Don't let pain go to waste, it was meant to be overcome. There is no pain without having loved. Sometimes it’s easier to see the person that you truly loved after you have lost. There are so many people out there who can make you feel as whole as you can be. You have so much to offer and I know you know that too... hehe you big headed peacock! Move on. I’ll be fine.

I’ll miss you and your shinyhead, lol... i'm sorry I don't have the strength to be that person for you. In a way, I feel like this is partially my fault too because I too had to choose between you or my bf. and you probably felt the pain as much as I do. we both hurt in the end. Wish I had met you a lot sooner and you were closer. Maybe we were fated to be together in another life or together in our past life, or maybe we are together already in another dimension. Or god just made a mistake and put us so far apart. I’ve never felt as trapped as I do now. I have this life with my bf and sometimes signs are telling me live it out. but my heart wants to reach out to u so bad. You have so much potential but I just can't accept it anymore. My mind, my heart, my body, and mostly my spirit were all about you in the end.... I have nothing left in me to keep pushing forward into what we have. Honestly, I think She can love you so much more than I can, she still have so much that she can provide for you... hehe she's young and full of spirit. she can make you happy I believe... She may be just a temporary passing by maybe not, but give her a chance to show what she's made of, she may be something more than you imagine.. "the one". You'll have someone to love you at least. but I see you as someone who's dying to love someone so much.... I’m getting too old, my heart has aged so much within the years... just picture it being a raisin in my chest. It’s only so much a crippled heart can handle.. I didn't realize that till now how much damage was put into my heart and soul from the past... I was actually really surprised that my body was affected so much by all of this. quite a phenomenon... Even after tonight, after dealing with all of this... I already feel the drain from thinking and hurting so much. It wasn't your entire fault. it’s everyone's fault. Everyone I ever loved and hurt and hurt me in the past and present.  I think it’s my time to just retire and start taking care of myself and not concern with the "what ifs". I want to end this knowing you love me back wholeheartedly, and I can sleep well for the rest of my life... I don’t' want another goodbye even though honestly, I can see now that we probably would last for a very long time, I don’t see myself leaving you if we had been together. like you said- we fit perfectly in almost every possible way. Just remember me always to have loved you and cared for you so much. I just don’t' have the strength to deal with so much pain and tears and to hurt another person in my life again. I'm glad we met and shared so much together in this short period of time... and every second with you on my mind was worth it. My tears are have dried a while back.. and i wont cry for something i never lost.. I want you and me to move on.. and be happy.. do for me that much as my last request... just be happy that our paths crossed and that I am able to place a part of you in my memory and my heart. This isn't a good-bye, take it as me just passing by as a trial for whats to come for your true love in the future. What i left for you i hope you'll never forget, and i'm wishing you best of luck from the bottom of my heart, even though i know you probalby won't need it.. you are ready to fly... you have everything you need to find your special someone to complete you...someone to love that will love you back... it wont be difficult, you're not too hard to love- Hey, you swept Me (of all people) off my feet. So fly, dear sweet peacock... (peacocks dont' fly.. but u can- i believe in you, i always did-maybe thats why i was scared to love you) Sweet dreams forever... Good night every night... with many hugs and kisses.

  Forever in my dreams... and hope my reminence stays forever in ur heart.... Don't shed any tears for me... save it for a rainy day... i prey for thee..